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Thursday, October 23, 2014

10 Football Rules I learnt as a Neighborhood Kid - Do you Remember?



 It may be different today, kids now join football academies and during holiday, they can go for football camps. The rich kids don’t get down to the raw deal of growing up in the hood – I mean the streets.

Well, I grew up in AJ city, as it is called, a ghetto suburb in Lagos Nigeria. You better get hard and skillful quickly or you can’t come out to play football on the street.

It wasn’t much of a rule; they are more of football tradition for kids in the neighborhood.  Do you say kids? Correction, my friend Ayo Ogundele said,” there’s no kids in Ajegunle; what we have there are Pikins!” I almost laugh my head off. Whatever, lets see the rules:



Rule No 1
If nobody has a ball, an orange or anything spherical in shape will do for the game.

Rule No 2
The kid who owns the ball decides who plays. He can hold his ball akimbo as long as he wishes, while we keep begging for his mercies.

Rule No 3
 The fattest kid is always the goalkeeper, because he has the full size to cover the goal post and can even use his tummy to stop shots.

Rule No 4
If you are picked last, you have no hope in life – you can be substituted once another talented kid shows up.

Rule No 5
There’s no Referee! Only the bully decides what it is and your argument doesn’t suffice.

Rule No 6
Penalties are only awarded if the injured kid swears a lot, and nobody wants to die young.

Rule No 7
If getting a ball stuck under a car is the most stressful part of the game, then try getting the ball when it goes over a wall and a Bulldog barking on the other side.

Rule No 8
The game only ends when everyone is tired. Otherwise, nobody hears a mother’s call or when evening comes.

Rule No 9
No matter how many goals down, the winner is always determined by ‘a golden goal’ – the very last one scored.

Rule No 10
When the owner of the ball gets pissed off, its game over! He suddenly picks up his ball and run home.