It may be different today, kids now join football
academies and during holiday, they can go for football camps. The rich kids
don’t get down to the raw deal of growing up in the hood – I mean the streets.
Well, I grew up in AJ city, as it is called, a
ghetto suburb in Lagos Nigeria. You better get hard and skillful quickly or you
can’t come out to play football on the street.
It wasn’t much of a rule; they are more of football
tradition for kids in the neighborhood.
Do you say kids? Correction, my friend Ayo Ogundele said,” there’s no
kids in Ajegunle; what we have there are Pikins!” I almost laugh my head off.
Whatever, lets see the rules:
Rule
No 1
If nobody has a ball, an orange or anything
spherical in shape will do for the game.
Rule
No 2
The kid who owns the ball decides who plays. He can
hold his ball akimbo as long as he wishes, while we keep begging for his
mercies.
Rule
No 3
The fattest
kid is always the goalkeeper, because he has the full size to cover the goal
post and can even use his tummy to stop shots.
Rule
No 4
If you are picked last, you have no hope in life –
you can be substituted once another talented kid shows up.
Rule
No 5
There’s no Referee! Only the bully decides what it
is and your argument doesn’t suffice.
Rule
No 6
Penalties are only awarded if the injured kid swears
a lot, and nobody wants to die young.
Rule
No 7
If getting a ball stuck under a car is the most
stressful part of the game, then try getting the ball when it goes over a wall
and a Bulldog barking on the other side.
Rule
No 8
The game only ends when everyone is tired.
Otherwise, nobody hears a mother’s call or when evening comes.
Rule
No 9
No matter how many goals down, the winner is always
determined by ‘a golden goal’ – the very last one scored.
Rule
No 10
When the owner of the ball gets pissed off, its game
over! He suddenly picks up his ball and run home.
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